Broken Mother: November 2007

Friday, November 2, 2007

Late

FUCK!

I just checked my bank statement online and when I saw it, my heart plummeted. There was $600 in the account. There shouldn't be $600, there should only be $200. I calculated everything just right so that we could get through next week to Friday's paycheck with enough for gas money only. I was afraid to click on the "history" button, because I knew what I was going to see.

Our mortgage payment bounced.

Fuck!

Two months ago, I set up a payment plan with a collector on a credit card that I had with my mom. The problem was that the card is only in my mom's name and I'm just an "authorized signor". When I received the letter from the collection company, addressed to my mom, I knew I had to fix things before it got any further and my mom was notified. Or sued. So, I scheduled six monthly payments so that I could avoid involving my mother.

Last week, I spoke with the person handling my account. I told him that we were anticipating a nice check at the end of November and that if he could hold off on October's payment, I could pay him double at the end of the month and possibly settle it in full. He was agreeable and I left the conversation feeling like there was one good person out of a bunch of vultures.

This morning, when I checked my bank account, I was only checking to see that the mortgage payment had cleared and that my measly $200 allowance in gas money was safe and sound. When I discovered that the jackass has rescinded on his word (but who can blame him? I rescinded on my word to repay the credit card debt!), I instantly stopped breathing. My chest became tight and my eyes burned. I called J.

When we first secured the mortgage two years ago, we needed a co-signer to get the loan. That person was his father. We accepted his assistance on his instruction that we notify him if we ever have any trouble paying the mortgage, so that no late payments were reflected on his credit report. It's been late twice in the past four months. The first time it was only two days late, but in the whole scheme of things, it didn't matter. It was late. Technically it was 32 days late, but they give you a 30 day grace period. Now, I know I can't pay them until the end of November. I was planning on making a double payment anyway, in order to take advantage of the big check and get ahead just one month.

God, what do I do? I'm at the end of my rope! My nerves are shot! I'm sitting in my office, crying on and off and I'm sure that my secretary is starting to wonder what is wrong with me. I don't know what to do anymore. I have avoided borrowing from friends and family and I have exhausted all my payday loan options. I don't know what to do anymore. I give up.

Labels: credit report, hopeless, mortgage